Delores McLochlin

Delores E. McLochlin

Knotts Island ‘ Delores Ellis McLochlin, 75, died Monday, November 30, 2009. Mrs. McLochlin was born in Fuquay-Varina, NC to the late James Lee and Eva Honeycutt Ellis. She was a member of Knotts Island United Methodist Church and was predeceased by a son, Earl Combs and brothers, Oscar and George Ellis.

Left to cherish her memory are her children, David Combs and wife Terri of Camden, NC, Julie Miller of NM, James McLochlin and wife Lynn of TN, Jeffery McLochlin, Jesse McLochlin and wife Bobbie, Jerry McLochlin and wife Irene, all of FL, and Jancy Homes and husband Bill of MI; nineteen grandchildren; twenty great-grandchildren; sisters, Della Lewark of Knotts Island and Ramona Lloyd of CA.

Funeral services will be held on Sunday at 2 p.m. at Knotts Island United Methodist Church with Rev. David Cunningham and Rev. David Combs officiating. Burial will follow at Knotts Island Cemetery. Twifords Funeral Home, Chesapeake is handling arrangements. Condolences may be expressed to the family at www.twifordfh.com.

Francis O’Neal Jackson

Francis O’Neal Jackson
Long Leaf Pine Recipient

Francis O’Neal Jackson, 86, of 853 Halstead Blvd. in Elizabeth City, NC died Sunday, November 29, 2009 at W. R. Winslow Memorial Home. He was a native of Pasquotank County, NC, son of the late Cornelius L. and Mrs. Lovie O’Neal Jackson Sr., and was the husband of Una Mae Brothers Jackson. Mr. Jackson had retired from the US Coast Guard Repair Base as a sheet metal worker. He was a member of Corinth Baptist Church, the Pasquotank Ruritan Club, and Eureka Masonic Lodge # 317 AF&AM. Mr. Jackson had fifty-seven years of service with the Boy Scouts of America and had received the Silver Beaver Award. He was a veteran of World War II serving in the US Army with Patton’s Third Army.

Besides his wife, he is survived by his daughter, Linda Weeks and husband Warren of Elizabeth City, NC; a son, Jerry Jackson of Virginia Beach, VA; two sisters, Sarah Louise Brite and Lessie Craig both of Elizabeth City, NC; a brother, Carol Jackson and wife Velma of Elizabeth City, NC; three grandchildren Stacey Weeks and wife Dawn, Melissa Pendleton and husband Jason and Jake Jackson all of Elizabeth City, NC; and six great grandchildren.

Memorial services will be held on Wednesday December 2, 2009 at 11:00 am at Corinth Baptist Church by Rev. David Turner and Rev. Matt Thomas. Burial will follow in New Hollywood Cemetery. The family will receive friends at the residence. Flowers are welcomed; however anyone wishing, may make memorial contributions to one’s favorite charity. Twiford’s Memorial Chapel 405 East Church St. in Elizabeth City, NC is assisting the Jackson family. You may send condolences to www.twifordfh.com.

David H. Twiford, Jr.

David H. Twiford Jr.  (David.Twiford.Jr@twifordfh.com)

David H. Twiford, Jr., a native of Elizabeth City, NC, is the manager of the Twiford Funeral Homes in Manteo and Hatteras, NC. He has one daughter, Ragen Whitney Twiford and a son, Spencer Linwood Twiford. He is a 1992 graduate of Northeastern High School, attended NC State University, and has an Associate of Arts in Mortuary Science from John Tyler Community College in Chester, VA. He is a member of the North Carolina Funeral Director’s Association, Ramoth Gilead Baptist Church and the Improved Order of Red Men. His interests include golf and family. David Jr. lives in Dare County, which is very special, since his great grandfather, S.W. Twiford was a native of Dare County, having been born in Stumpy Point. David Jr. is the only Twiford associated with Twiford Funeral Homes that resides in Dare County where his great grandfather once managed the Twiford Funeral Home in Manteo.

Personalizing a Funeral Service

A funeral can and should be as unique as the life that is being celebrated. Don’t feel that you have to have a cookie cutter type of service or that your ideas for a special ceremony are foolish.

You shouldn’t feel pressured or rushed into making a decision. We want to help you make
the arrangements that you want.

Personalizing a funeral or memorial service can be very therapeutic–it gives you and your family something to concentrate on as you relive memories. It’s also welcomed by family and friends attending a visitation or service because it gets them involved and provides a topic of conversation when they might otherwise not know what to say. We offer many ways to personalize a service.

Ask questions and make suggestions; we want to assist you in any way we can to ensure that your loved one is memorialized in a meaningful way.

Coping Through the Holidays After Losing a Loved One

Halloween barely passes before stores stock their shelves with holiday decorations. Christmas carols echo through shopping malls, and the first of the holiday commercials hits the airwaves. If you’ve lost a loved one, these can be stark reminders that the holidays won’t be the same.

Whether your loved one died recently or decades ago, the holidays bring forth powerful memories that may trigger your grief. If the person died on or near a holiday, the two events are forever linked and may be particularly painful, especially if you have unresolved feelings about the lost relationship.

When trying to cope with grief, it’s important to understand that grief is cumulative. We don’t experience a loss, move through predetermined emotional stages, then emerge on the other side.

This holiday season, if the first Christmas card you open or the first “Happy Hanukkah!” you hear starts to bring on sadness, use that opportunity to work through your feelings. Don’t just ignore those feelings. Here are some tips to help you cope.

DO:

• Expect to have some pain. When the feelings come, let them.
• Accept a few invitations to be with close family or friends. Choose the ones that sound most appealing at the time and avoid the ones that feel more like obligation.
• Talk about your feelings. Let people know if you’re having a tough day.
• Incorporate your loved one into the holidays:
• Share your favorite stories over dinner.
• Make a toast or light a candle in remembrance.
• Make a donation in his or her name.
• Help others:
• Take a meal to a homebound couple.
• Volunteer in a shelter or soup kitchen.
• “Adopt” a family to buy presents or food for.
• Modify or make new traditions if it feels right. Just remember to include others who are grieving, especially children, in the decision.
• If the idea of holiday shopping overwhelms you, buy gifts online or through catalogs.
• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
• Prepare yourself for January. Sometimes the aftermath of the holidays can bring more sadness than the holidays themselves.

DON’T:

• Don’t hide your feelings from children in an effort to be strong for them or protect them. You’ll only be teaching them to deny their own feelings.
• Don’t isolate yourself. Although you may not feel much like celebrating, accept a few invitations.
• Don’t accept every invitation or throw yourself into work in an effort to keep busy. It may only add more stress.
• Don’t expect to go through defined stages of grief. Every person is different and every relationship is unique.
• Don’t act as if your loved one never lived.
• Don’t be afraid to cry. Crying is like the valve on a pressure cooker. It lets the steam out.

If someone you know is grieving:

• Encourage him or her to talk about their feelings. Listen to them. 98 percent of people who have recently lost someone want to talk about the person who died.
• Let them cry.
• Don’t pretend their loved one didn’t die – it’s okay to say the deceased’s name.
• Don’t say things like:
• “At least he’s not suffering anymore”
• “She’s in a better place.”
• “I know you’ll miss him.”
• “I know how you feel.”

Resources:

Grief Recovery Institute®
www.grief-recovery.com
(818) 907-9600
Holiday Hotline: (800) 445-4808

Fernside
www.fernside.org
(513) 841-1012

National Funeral Directors Association
www.nfda.org
(800) 228-6332 or (262) 789-1880

GriefNet.org
www.griefnet.org

Books:

• “The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce and Other Losses” by John W. James and Russell Friedman
• “I’m Grieving As Fast As I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal” by Linda Sones Feinberg
• “Gone but Not Lost: Grieving the Death of a Child” by David W. Wiersbe
• “Remembering With Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond” by Elizabeth Levang, Sherokee Ilse
• “Life Is Goodbye, Life Is Hello: Grieving Well Through All Kinds of Loss” by Alla Renee Bozarth, et al.
• “When Your Friend Is Grieving: Building a Bridge of Love” by Paula D’Arcy
• “How Can I Help?: How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving” by June Cerza Kolf
• “Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas” by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
• “Helping Your Grieving Heart for Teens” by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
• “The Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teenagers and Their Friends” by Helen Fitzgerald
• “When Children Grieve” by John W. James and Russell Friedman with Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews
• “The Grieving Child: A Parent’s Guide” by Helen Fitzgerald, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
• “35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child” by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children
• “Nobody’s Child Anymore: Grieving, Caring and Comforting When Parents Die” by Barbara Bartocci

Consider Family in Cremation

Those who say–whether seriously or in jest–”Just cremate me and throw me out!” don’t realize the burden this places on family members. Direct disposal of cremated remains without funerals or memorialization of any kind can cause serious emotional problems for survivors.

An executive of the Forum for Death Education tells of one patient under therapy as a result of scattering the cremated remains of a loved one. She had no focal point for her grief until he suggested she obtain a niche at a local mausoleum and place some memento of the loved one within.

In day-to-day contact with bereaved families, many cemetarians have noticed signs of severe emotional stress among the survivors in instances of cremation without memorialization and without funerals.

In some cases, such problems may take the form of delayed reaction many months later and are more apt to come to the attention of the medical community or clinical psychologists than to the layman or the general public.

Many psychiatrists feel that the funeral serves a very real need for the survivors. One of them stated that the primary purpose of the funeral is to fulfill the need for grieving for the living and that this need goes unfulfilled for many in our culture.

The result, in many cases, is that months or years later people require psychiatric treatment for severe depression.

In suffering a loss, the traditional rites of passage and memorialization can be beneficial in helping individuals pass through the stages of grief.

When the practice of cremation is accomplished with human dignity and recognition, it will:

• help assuage grief
• alleviate guilt
• contribute to emotional stability
• create peace of mind

Roy A. Riddick

Roy A. Riddick (Roy.Riddick@twifordfh.com)

Roy Allen Riddick, Assistant Funeral Service Manager in Dare County, is a native of Elizabeth City, NC and is a licensed North Carolina Funeral Director and Embalmer. Roy is married to Capria (Cap) and they have a daughter, Bethany. Roy is a graduate of Gupton Jones College of Mortuary Science and College of the Albemarle. He is an active member of the International Church of the Assemblies of God Church. Roy joined Twiford Funeral Homes in February 1978 and his interest include music, reading and several sports.

Jeanette Deal

Jeanette Deal (Jeanette.Deal@twifordfh.com)

Jeanette Deal, Office Manager and Preneed Facilitator in Dare County, is a native of Miller County, GA. Jeanette is married to Paul and they have two children: Josh Deal and Kristen Deal Frost and four grandchildren, Claire Frost, Ella Frost,Maddox Deal, and Harper Deal. Jeanette is a graduate of Colonial High School in Orlando, FL and attended Fayetteville Technical College in Fayetteville, NC and the College of the Albemarle. She is a member of the Ark International Church of the Assemblies of God Church and her interests include crafting and cooking. Jeanette joined Twiford Funeral Homes in 1988.

Billy Wedgworth

Billy Wedgworth (Billy.Wedgworth@twifordfh.com)

Billy Wedgworth is a NC funeral service licensee and has been associated with Twiford Funeral Homes, Manteo & Hatteras since 2004. Billy was born in Jackson, TN and is married to Heather Wedgworth. He enjoys playing basketball and other sports. He is an active member of First Assembly of God Church of Manteo, NC and is a Youth Leader for the Church.

Christopher Stoessner

Christopher Stoessner (Chris.Stoessner@twifordfh.com)

Christopher J. Stoessner is a licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer. He is married to Melinda G. Stoessner and lives in Kill Devil Hills and part time in Stuart, Va. He, and Melinda are from Smithfield, Virginia where he owned the C. J. Stoessner & Co. Antiques and Furniture Store. Chris prides himself in making sure Funeral Arrangements are smooth and orderly from start to finish so that the family has little or no stress in their time of grief. He is also President of Stoessner Stores, Inc. and manages Outer Banks Pet Cremations. Chris serves on the Historic Landmarks Commission in Kill Devil Hills. Also, Chris is a charter member and currently serves as Vice-President of the Outer Banks Chapter of the Sons of the American Revolution.   In his spare time, he enjoys playing music, collecting classic cars, and working in the yard.